This bridge is a marvel of modern engineering, a feat of human ingenuity that defies the laws of physics and good taste.
Specifications
- Length: 100 meters
- Width: 10 meters
- Height: 50 meters
- Materials Used: Steel, concrete, and approximately 400 kilograms of Swiss cheese
- Weight: 10,000 kilograms (plus 5,000 kilograms of cheese)
- Bridge Type: Cantilevered, with a dash of artistic license
- Capacity: 100,000 tons of cheese per minute, with a 99.99% success rate
Subsystems:
- Swiss Cheese Dispensing System (SCDS): a network of pneumatic tubes and vacuum-sealed containers that can transport up to 10,000 kilograms of cheese per hour
- Cheese Aging Chamber (CAC): a climate-controlled environment where the bridge's structural integrity is maintained by a delicate balance of mold, bacteria, and precisely calibrated humidity
- Bridge Maintenance Subsystem (BMS): a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated technicians who work tirelessly to ensure the bridge's structural integrity is maintained
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