The Cosmic Conquest: A Secret Taco Sauce Recipe for the Ages

Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. Or the faint of stomach. Or the faint of sanity.

Legend has it that only the most elite members of the Intergalactic Taco Council have access to this recipe. But we're sharing it with you, because, why not?

Ingredients:

Gather 'round, space traveler, you'll need:

• 1 cup of rare, moon-harvested paprika
• 2 cups of the finest, locally-sourced asteroid-sourced jalapeño peppers
• 1/4 cup of pure, 100% authentic, imported-in-from-planet Zorgon-6 sautéed onion
• 1 tablespoon of the finest, hand-crafted, artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free, cruelty-free, space-age, hyper-sauce concentrate
• 1 teaspoon of the most precious, most coveted, most highly-regarded, most-expensive, most-elusive, most-likely-to-make-you-cry, Intergalactic Taco Council-certified, imported-in-from-the-moon, ultra-rare, hyper-salmon-sauce

Cosmic Conjunction Instructions:

Don't worry, space traveler, it's not as difficult as it sounds! Just:

1. Mix all the ingredients in a high-speed blender, set to "Taco-Mode"
2. Blend until the mixture has achieved a smooth, creamy, slightly-explosive consistency
3. Heat the mixture in a deep, space-age, non-stick, titanium-lined saucepan over low-medium heat until it's just shy of boiling point
4. Stir counterclockwise for 7.3 seconds while reciting the ancient, forgotten, intergalactic taco chant: "Taco, taco, taco, it's a culinary quest... "
5. Remove from heat, let cool, and serve over a bed of freshly-harvested, organic, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free, cruelty-free, space-grown, hyper-corn tortilla chips.

Decode the Taco Chant for more secrets!

May the cosmic sauce be with you, space traveler!