Step 1: The Ritual of Preparation

Preparation is key. Don't skip it.

Step 1: Turn off notifications

It's not just about silencing the phone. It's about silencing your soul. Turn off notifications. All of them. Even the ones that tell you you've got 12 new emails.

Step 2: Put it in a box

Don't just turn it off. Put it in a box. A box of doom. A box of despair. A box of existential crisis.

Step 3: Ignore the siren song of social media

Social media is like a seductive temptress. It lures you in with its bright lights and its likes and its followers. But resist. Resist, you must.

Continue to Step 2: The Box of Doom

Skip to Step 3: Putting It in a Box of Doom (But Not Really, Because You'll Just Turn it Back On)