Techniques to Take A Deep Breath

Because adulting is hard, you know?

1. Inhale for 4 seconds

Inhale for exactly 4 seconds, then exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat. Like a robot.

Next Technique: Hold for 8 seconds

2. Focus on a Potted Plant

Stare at a potted plant and try not to think about your impending doom. Good luck.

Next Technique: Focus on a Real Plant

3. Count to 10

Count to 10, but only if you can handle the existential dread that comes with realizing your life is 99% meaningless.

Next Technique: Count to 11 (optional)

4. Visualize a Beach

Close your eyes and imagine a beach. But not just any beach, a beach with a margarita in your hand, a gentle breeze in your hair, and a gentle, soothing soundtrack of seagulls screaming at you to get off the beach.

Next Technique: Visualize a Beach with a Bar