Acceptable Delays

Policy for the Utterly Clumsy and Inept

Welcome to the Acceptable Delays policy, where we proudly serve up a generous helping of sloth-like behavior. Here, you'll find our carefully crafted guidelines for what constitutes an acceptable delay.

ประก

Tier 1: The Golden Slacker

Delays of up to 5 minutes are considered acceptable.
No penalty will be assessed for these delays.

You are a true master of the art of procrastination, always finding ways to squeeze in a few extra minutes of "research" or "reflection" time. Your productivity is a marvel to behold.

Tier 2: The Chronic Procrastinator

Delays of up to 1 hour are considered acceptable.
A gentle reminder will be sent via email.

You've mastered the art of finding ways to "recharge" and "refocus." Your coworkers may begin to suspect, but you've got it down to a science.

Tier 3: The Utterly Clumsy

Delays of up to 2 hours are considered acceptable.
A stern letter will be sent via certified mail.

You've reached new heights of sloth-like behavior, and we're impressed. You're a shining example of how to make a career out of "just one more minute."

What's Not Acceptable:

Delays of more than 2 hours.
Failure to show up to work at all.

Don't be that guy. We have a zero-tolerance policy for complete and utter failure.

Subpages:

Please note that these subpages are subject to change without notice, and may or may not actually exist. Or may or may not be funny.