Exceptions to the Tardiness Policy

Exceptions are made for the following reasons:

• Emergency Situations (e.g., zombies, aliens, or unexpected visits from in-laws)
• Medical Issues (e.g., sudden onset narcolepsy, crippling anxiety, or chronic laziness)
• Transportation Disruptions (e.g., traffic jams, bus breakdowns, or the occasional sinking of the Titanic)
• Celebrate-It-Yourself Events (e.g., birthdays, weddings, or the occasional spontaneous party)
• Other Bullshit Reasons (e.g., "I forgot my pants," "I was watching cat videos," or "I just really, really, REALLY needed a snack")

Remember, tardiness is a choice. Choose wisely.