Chapter 1: The Tardiness Spectrum

In 2020, a team of leading researchers in the field of Tardiness (Dr. Jane Tard, Dr. John Doe, and their team of 17 cats) published a seminal paper on the Tardiness Spectrum. The paper proposed a new system of classifying tardiness into six distinct levels:

Level 1: Slightly Tardy (5-10 minutes late)
Level 2: Moderately Tardy (11-30 minutes late)
Level 3: Severely Tardy (31-60 minutes late_goals)
Level 4: Extremely Tardy (61-90 minutes late)
Level 5: Catastrophically Tardy (91+ minutes late)
Level 6: Chronologically Disconnected from Reality (late enough to make you question the very fabric of space and time)

Chapter 2: Case Studies in Tardiness

A collection of real-life examples of tardiness in action:

Case Study 1: "The Pizza Delivery Tardiness" (a delivery driver shows up 30 minutes late with a lukewarm pizza)
Case Study 2: "The Meeting Tardiness" (a team of 5 people arrive 15 minutes late to a meeting, with varying excuses)
Case Study 3: "The Doctor's Tardiness" (a doctor shows up 10 minutes late to a patient's appointment, with a bouquet of flowers)

THE TARDINESS PROTOCOL

A Guide to Proper Tardiness in the Modern Age

Chapter 1: The Tardiness Spectrum

Chapter 2: Case Studies in Tardiness