Tardiness Policy

Section 1: What is Tardiness?

Tardiness is a state of being perpetually late, yet somehow still managing to arrive at the destination. It's a delicate balance of procrastination and sheer willpower.

Section 2: Symptoms of Tardiness

Common symptoms include:

Arriving 10 minutes after the agreed-upon time
Barely remembering appointments
Using 'I'm on my way' as a valid excuse
Developing a strong sense of self-entitlement to extra time

Don't worry, it's not you, it's just Tardiness.

Section 3: Treatment Options

Available treatments include:

Tardiness-Induced Therapy (a form of talk-therapy)
Time-management workshops
Acknowledging the futility of life and resigning oneself to the inevitable tardiness

Section 4: Famous Tardiness Victims

Some notable examples include:

The Great Tardiness of 1922, a global pandemic
The Invention of the Tardiness-ometer, a device measuring the exact amount of tardiness
The Tardiness Olympics, a bi-annual event where participants compete in the art of being late