Rule 1: All participants must wear a bright orange jumpsuit at all times. Failure to comply will result in instant disqualification.

Rule 2: Tardiness Trials are a zero-compassion, zero-mercy competition. Do not expect any special treatment or emotional support.

Rule 3: In the event of a tie, a tie-breaker challenge will be administered, which may or may not involve eating a spoonful of wasabi.

Rule 4: All participants must be willing to sacrifice their dignity for the sake of entertainment.

Rule 5: The winner of each trial will receive a participation trophy that looks suspiciously like a participation trophy.