Matcha Green Tea Party Protocol

By now, you're probably thinking, "What's the deal with all this matcha stuff?" Well, let me tell you, it's a thing. A very serious thing. A thing so serious that we've developed an entire protocol around it. The Matcha Green Tea Party Protocol, or MGTP for the initiated, is a set of rules designed to govern the proper use and appreciation of matcha, the green tea powder that's all the rage.

Article I: The Pledge

Article I of the MGTP is all about the proper preparation of matcha. It goes like this:

1. Acquire matcha from a reputable source. None of that stuff from the corner store, okay?
2. Heat water to the perfect temperature (around 160°F). Any hotter, and you're basically just making a tea-flavored volcano.
3. Prepare your matcha bowl with care. You know, the usual drill: ceramic, water, matcha, whisk, and all that jazz.
4. Whisk like you mean it. Don't be shy, don't be lazy. Get in there and show that matcha who's boss.
5. Enjoy the ride. The bitter-sweet ride.

Article II: The Ranks

Article II of the MGTP is all about the hierarchy of matcha mastery. It goes like this:

1. Novice: You're new here. Congratulations, you've just joined the party. Start with the basics.
2. Adept: You're getting the hang of this thing. Keep it up, you'll be making matcha like a pro in no time.
3. Master: You're one of us now. You know the ins and outs, the dos and don'ts.
4. Legend: You're basically a god around here. Matcha flows through your veins like water, or whatever.

Article III: The Offenses

Article III is all about the no-nos. Don't do these things, or you'll be cast into the outer darkness:

1. No matcha in a plastic bag. That's just tacky.
2. Don't even think about using a tea ball. That's just not how it's done.
3. No matcha in a coffee shop. That's not a thing.
4. Don't be that guy. You know, the one who adds sugar to their matcha.

The MGTP Subreddit