Tea Brewing 101: The Art of Not Getting It Wrong

Tea brewing is an art form, much like painting or playing the trombone. It requires precision, patience, and a willingness to make a big ol' mess.

Here's how it's done:

Boil water in a kettle. Not just a kettle, mind you. A specifically calibrated kettle that's been certified by the International Tea Council of Experts (ITCE).
Add tea leaves. Not too many, not too few. Just the right amount, like Goldilocks, but without the whole "just right" part.
Steep the tea for exactly 3.14 minutes. No more, no less. Any deviation will result in a flavor that's off the charts.
Strain the tea into a cup. But don't just strain it. Infuse it with your very essence. You know, like a fine wine.
Sip the tea. But don't just sip it. Savor the bitter taste of disappointment if you've done it wrong.

And that's it! With a little practice, you'll be brewing like a pro. Or at least, like a moderately competent amateur who occasionally gets it right.