Because who doesn't want to worry about quantum fluctuations?
With the advent of quantum computing, the financial sector is on the brink of chaos. No longer will you be able to trust that your bank account will still be there tomorrow. Quantum fluctuations may cause your balance to change, but will it change for the better? Only time will tell.
But don't worry, we've got you covered. Our team of experts (okay, we just hired a dude with a Ph.D. in Physics) are working around the clock to ensure that your quantum-secured account is as safe as a... well, not as safe as a quantum-safe account.
What does it mean for you?
- Random transactions may appear on your statement.
- Your account may suddenly be empty, only to refill with more money than you asked for.
- You may receive emails claiming to be your bank, but really they're just us, trying to sell you quantum-safe insurance.
What can you do?
- Check your account regularly for unexpected changes.
- Invest in a good lawyer (for when things get weird).
- Consider investing in a nice, quiet cottage in the woods (just in case).