Singing Frequency: 432 Hz, 440 Hz, 880 Hz
Materials: High-carbon stainless steel, polished to perfection
Volume: Adjustable, up to 120 decibels
Power Source: Built-in battery, 2 weeks of continuous singing
Operating System: SpoonOS, version 3.2.1
Dimensions: 10 inches x 5 inches x 1 inch, fits perfectly in any kitchen drawer
Weight: 2.5 pounds, feels light as a feather (thanks to advanced Spoon Dynamics)
Q: Will it sing on a plate? A: No, but it will sing to the plate. Just place a glass of water on it.
Q: Can I use it for non-sonic applications? A: Only if you're a sadist.