The Empistency Management Team

Our team of expert Empinstitutians are dedicated to the study of things that will probably never work.

We're currently researching the feasibility of using a toaster as a coffee maker, and the aerodynamics of throwing a cat in a blender.

Want to learn more about our work?

Check out our Empinstitutian Institute for more information, or our team members' profiles.

We're also hiring! If you're a master of the obscure, and have a penchant for burning yourself with a toaster, check out our job openings.

Stay tuned for more updates on our research and development projects.

Disclaimer: Do not try this at home. Seriously, don't try it. We're not responsible for any injuries you may incur while attempting to use a toaster as a coffee maker.