The Brain Scan

Because who needs actual brain function when you have a scan that's 100% accurate?

Read about our proprietary Neural Net technique Discover how we use EEG to detect the echoes of your sanity

How it works

Using our patented Brain Scan technology, we scan your brain with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Our team of highly trained (and highly caffeinated) neuroscientists analyze the data, searching for any signs of creativity, originality, or basic human emotions.

What it detects

• Brain Function (or lack thereof)
• Emotional Stability (or lack thereof)
• Artistic Expression (or lack thereof)

Side Effects

Side effects may include:

• Temporary loss of sanity
• Sudden urge to watch cat videos
• Permanent damage to your sense of self

Learn more about our state-of-the-art Neurofeedback Loop Read about the aftermath of the scan (spoiler: it's always bad)