Anger-Release Techniques

For the Chronically Irritated

1. The Ancient Art of Staring at a Wall

This time-honored technique involves gazing intensely at a blank wall for 17 minutes and 32 seconds. Results in increased tolerance for beige-colored drywall.

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2. Creative Expression through Destruction

This avant-garde technique requires you to smash 37 objects of varying shapes and sizes. Side effects may include increased risk of injury, property damage, and spontaneous combustion.

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Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Void where prohibited. Use at your own risk.