Techniques for the Modern Procrastinator

Congratulations, you've reached the pinnacle of productivity: doing nothing. Here are some techniques to help you master the art of doing absolutely nothing:

1. The Classic "Just One More Minute" Technique

This timeless technique involves setting a timer for one minute, then extending it by another minute every time you think you can "just get away with it."

2. The "I'll Do It Later" Method

This simple yet effective technique involves writing down all your tasks and sticking them on a sticky note, which you promptly lose under the couch cushion, thereby ensuring you'll "get to it" eventually.

3. The "I'm Just Taking a Break" Tactic