What is it?
The Slow Clap Technique: A method of applause that defies the laws of physics and good taste. It's like a slow-mo version of the classic clap, but without the actual momentum.
Originating in the depths of the internet, this technique was born from the desperate cries of keyboard warriors and the echoes of lonely apartments. It's a way to say "I'm excited" without actually having to exert any effort.
Key characteristics:
- Requires a strong sense of apathy
- Must be practiced in front of a mirror
- Can only be mastered by those who have given up on life
How to Practice
1. Find a quiet room, preferably in a abandoned office building
2. Close your eyes and focus on the sound of your own breathing
3. Open your mouth and let your jaw hang loose, like a slack-jawed moron
4. Flicker your wrists, like a metronome gone haywire
5. Repeat steps 3-4 until your arms ache
Remember, the slower, the better.