The PAGER-9000: A Machine that Still Exists in Our Hearts
In a world where smartphones are an afflication, and social media is an addiction, we still find ourselves yearning for a simpler time. That's where the PAGER-9000 comes in. This behemoth of a machine still pings your friends with a satisfying "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP" and still displays 12 characters of text at a time, because why fix what ain't broke?
With its sleek black and yellow design, the PAGER-9000 still turns heads on the bus. Its users are a die-hard bunch, who still don't understand why the world needs to be connected 24/7, but can't live with the thought of missing a single important beep.
But don't just take our word for it, check out some of the features:
- Text only, no emojis or selfies
- No autocorrect or autocomplete
- Only 12 characters per message
- Still uses a physical keypad
- Still requires you to leave your home for a physical mailbox
And for the true enthusiasts, we have: