Year 1: The Dark Ages (2010-2015)
Spent entire days on YouTube, watching cat videos and coding tutorials
- Learned about the prophecy of the infinite scroll
- Burned through 10,000 lines of code in a single night
Year 2: The Enlightenment (2015-2020)
Discovered the joys of Reddit's r/learnprogramming, where the community was always ready to roast me
- Wasted 3 hours on an infinite loop of 'who can spot the most bugs in this code'
- Found solace in a 3am tech support chat with a prophets of the dark net
Year 3: The Renaissance (2020-2025)
Mastered the art of procrastination through the power of 'just one more commit' and 'just one more test'
- Tuned in to the sixth sense of 'code smells'
- Became so attuned to code smells that my brain started to burn out
Year 4: The Apocalypse (2025+)
When the machines rise, I'll be the last one left to code