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Telekinetic Exercises

Advanced Mind Control

Warning: Do not attempt these exercises while driving, operating heavy machinery, or in the presence of cats. They may result in unintended consequences.

Exercise 1: The Floating Object

Hold your breath and focus your mind on a nearby object. Will it up, down, left, right, or... elsewhere?

Practice with moving objects

Exercise 2: The Wall of Resistance

Concentrate on a nearby wall. Will it move, or will it not?

Test your limits with psychic pushback

Exercise 3: The Telekinetic Tango

Find a willing partner, preferably with a strong sense of humor. Will you move them, or will they move you?

Practice with a partner in crime

Disclaimer: Telekinetic exercises are not guaranteed to work. Results may vary. Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, temporary blindness, or spontaneous combustion. Use at your own risk.

Read our safety guidelines