Telekinetic Tips

Warning: These tips are not for the faint of heart (or mind). Telekinesis requires a strong stomach and a willingness to question the fundamental laws of physics.

Tip 1: Don't Try This At Home (Seriously, Don't)

Unless you're a trained professional with a solid grasp of Newton's laws, avoid using telekinesis during thunderstorms. Trust us on this one.

Side effect: possible destruction of property, loss of limbs, or spontaneous combustion.

Tip 2: Focus Your Mind (Or Don't, We Won't Judge)

Visualization is key to successful telekinesis. Try meditating with a guided audio tape to center your chi.

Side effect: temporary loss of motor control, increased risk of accidentally levitating furniture.

Tip 3: Practice, Practice, Practice (Or Just Wing It)

Like any skill, telekinesis takes practice. Start with small tasks, like moving a pencil with your mind, and work your way up to more complex feats.

Side effect: possible development of telekinetic tic-tac-toe skills.