Tentacle Removal for Absolute Beginners

Welcome, novice tentacle enthusiast! Removing tentacles can be a delicate process, but don't worry, we're here to guide you through it.

Step 1: Locate the Tentacle

1. Consult your local tentacle expert (available for a small fee)
2. Use our patented Tentacle-Scan-3000 (sold separately)
3. Call in a team of highly trained, exorcists

Step 2: Prepare the Tentacle for Removal

1. Don protective gear (tented gloves, safety goggles, etc.)
2. Read and follow the included instructions carefully
3. Practice your tentacle-removing skills with a small, non-sentient creature

Step 3: Execute the Removal

1. Hold the tentacle firmly in place with one hand, while operating the removal device with the other
2. Apply gentle, soothing music to calm the tentacle's savage beast
3. Maintain a safe distance from any nearby tentacles

Step 4: Post-Removal Care

1. Provide the removed tentacle with a safe, quiet space to recover
2. Administer soothing tentacle-balm to reduce post-removal trauma
3. Consider enlisting the services of a tentacle-therapist

Still confused? Check out our advanced guide for more information.

Or, if you're feeling particularly bold, dive deeper into the art of tentacle removal.

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any damage or trauma caused by improper tentacle removal. You have been warned.