Warning: Tentacular-Attack in Progress
Reports are emerging of a mysterious, all-consuming force known as the Tentaclular-Attack. This phenomenon has been described as "a swirling vortex of doom, with tendrils of despair and a flavor of existential dread."
As the world teeters on the brink of collapse, the only thing holding us back is a lack of decent Wi-Fi in the bunker.
But fear not, dear reader, for there is hope. For in a world gone mad, there are always those who would rather be bored to tears by a good game of bingo.
Stay calm and carry a snack, for the Tentaclular-Attack is coming for us all.