The 12 Steps to Stopping Your Thoughts (Mostly)

• Step 1: Learn to love the feeling of confusion.
• Step 2: Discover the joys of a blank mind.
• Step 3: Practice the art of doing nothing.
• Step 4: Develop a fascination with the ceiling.
• Step 5: Train yourself to ignore the siren song of your own thoughts.
• Step 6: Learn to appreciate the beauty of a well-crafted to-do list with zero items.
• Step 7: Cultivate an interest in the intricacies of dust motes.
• Step 8: Practice mindfulness in front of the refrigerator.
• Step 9: Find solace in the simplicity of staring at a wall.
• Step 10: Master the art of making a grilled cheese sandwich without thinking about it.
• Step 11: Learn to love the thrill of watching paint dry.
• Step 12: Become one with the universe, or at least with the couch.