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Insurance Plan for the Unlucky
Insurance Plan for the Unlucky
Get ready for the most unlikely of insurance plans!
As a special offer for our most accident-prone customers, we're providing a comprehensive plan that covers the following:
- One free trip to the emergency room per month, courtesy of our partners at Local Hospital Inc.
- Two complimentary therapy sessions with our expertly trained couch-sitting specialist, Dr. Bob.
- A 50% discount on all unnecessary medical tests, because who needs a second opinion, right?
- A complimentary "I'm Sorry" bouquet, sent directly to your home in the event of an unfortunate event.
Sign up now and get a free "I'm Unlucky" t-shirt with your policy purchase!
Side effects of this plan may include, but are not limited to:
- Excessive anxiety due to constant near-death experiences.
- Regret for ever purchasing this policy.
- Uncontrollable urge to re-read the policy documents for the 10th time.
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