A: Thermal Vision Training is a rigorous program designed to train your eyes to detect the subtlest changes in temperature, allowing you to see the world in a whole new way. Or, you know, to spot a warm-blooded intruder from a mile away.
A: Of course, it's safe! Our instructors are highly trained professionals who have undergone extensive training in Thermal Vision Training themselves. They'll guide you through the process, which may involve some temporary blindness, mild hallucinations, and a 90% chance of spontaneous combustion.
A: The program is typically 6 weeks long, but can vary depending on your individual progress. Some participants have reported seeing the future in a single session, while others have required up to 6 months to achieve even basic thermal vision.
A: You must be at least 18 years old, have a valid ID, and be willing to sign a waiver releasing us from any liability for your new, potentially debilitating abilities.
A: We can accommodate most prescriptions, but be warned: our instructors are notorious for being unsympathetic towards anyone who can't see the subtlest changes in temperature.
A: Don't worry, our instructors are on speed dial with emergency services, who have a special Thermal Vision Response Unit for just such situations.
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And, if you're still unsure, just read the fine print.