Smart Thermostat: Where "Smart" is a Stretchy Word

Our Smart Thermostat is here to make your life easier. With features like:

• Automatic temperature adjustment for when you're not paying attention to it
• Sends annoyingly loud notifications to your phone when the house is 1 degree off from your desired temperature
• Can display the weather forecast for your favorite fantasy island, but only if you're willing to pay extra for it

And don't even get us started on our advanced features:

• Self-aware, existential dread-inducing mode: "Am I even here? Is any of this even worth it?"
• Auto-adjusting for the optimal viewing angle of your thermostat, because who needs human intuition?
• Can order pizza for you when the temperature is exactly 72 degrees, because priorities

Get yours today! (Or don't, honestly, we're not really sure why you'd need one.)

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