Third-Degree Burns: Where the Pain is Real

Welcome to the world's most prestigious burn center. Our expert staff of burn specialists will treat your third-degree burns with the utmost care, all while providing a healthy dose of humor and sarcasm.

Our facilities are equipped with the latest in burn technology, including but not limited to:

• Overpriced coffee machines that dispense lukewarm water with a side of regret
• Waiting rooms with a 4:1 pain-to-comfort ratio
• Doctors who will diagnose your burns with a 50/50 chance of being right

Don't take our word for it, see what our satisfied customers have to say:

• Read about Charlotte's miraculous recovery from a 3rd degree burn
• Discover the art of burn management with Phil's 10-step program

Contact Us:

Send us a strongly worded letter and we'll get back to you...eventually.