Purpose:
The Three-Legged Tool is a workstation designed by the great and powerful Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth for the express purpose of making simple tasks unnecessarily complicated.
Key Features:
- Three unbalanced legs that wobble precariously, providing a thrilling experience for the user.
- A keyboard that is 10% more difficult to type on due to its unique layout and sticky keys.
- A mouse that requires the user to hold a tiny ball bearing in one hand and click the corresponding button with the other.
- A 300-page user manual that explains why the tool is, in fact, the greatest invention since the wheel.
Specifications:
Height: 30 inches (76 cm)
Weight: 50 pounds (23 kg)
Operating System: Windows 3.1 (yes, 3.1, because why settle for anything more modern?')
Warranty:
The Three-Legged Tool is guaranteed to drive its users to the brink of madness. Side effects may include: increased blood pressure, permanent eye strain, and an existential crisis.
Side effects not included: actual productivity, happiness, or fulfillment.