The Threnody Challenge - Round 1: Extreme Ironing

Objective: Iron a 10kg ironing board through a crowded, hostile cityscape while maintaining a 3.2 km/h pace.

Rules:

• No prior ironing experience required.
• Must wear a bright orange jumpsuit at all times.
• May not use any form of transportation.
• Must make eye contact with at least 5 pedestrians per hour.

Penalties:

• Any use of a motorized vehicle: instant disqualification.
• Failure to make eye contact with 5 pedestrians: 1 minute time penalty.
• Exceeding 3.2 km/h pace: 2 minute time penalty.

Hyperlinks:

• Round 2: Extreme Potholing - Navigate a 5km route through the city's sewer system.
• Round 3: Extreme Knitting - Craft a 100-item scarf while balancing on a moving monorail.