TIME MACHINE MALFUNCTION

Warning: Temporal Displacement Incident Report in progress. Please stand by for further instructions.

Last known coordinates: 1957, New York City. Estimated time of arrival: 2025. Possible explanations:

Mouse Aging Theorem - Involves spontaneous combustion of laboratory mice.
Quantum Fluctuations Incident Report - Random particle movement causing localized temporal distortions.
Spaghetti Timewarp - Pasta overcooked, timelines compromised.

DO NOT TOUCH ANY ELECTRONIC DEVICES. DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR.

Repeat, DO NOT.