Surviving Vikings: The Ultimate Time-Surfer's Guide

Tip 1: Don't Get Too Close

When approaching the Viking's longhouse, maintain a safe distance. They're notoriously territorial about their furniture arrangement.

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Tip 2: Bring Your Own Firewood

Bring enough firewood for at least 5 generations. You never know when you'll need to burn it to the ground.

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Tip 3: Don't Get Too Chatty

Vikings are known for their love of silence. Avoid small talk about the meaning of life, the weather, or your favorite sports teams. Just nod, smile, and pretend to be interested.

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Tip 4: Learn Basic Viking Math

Vikings are notorious for their love of fractions. Practice your basic arithmetic operations, especially division by 3. You'll need it when calculating the ratio of battle-to-sword-to-shields.

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Tip 5: Know When to Run

Don't get caught in a fight! Know when to flee. A good time surfer always knows the difference between a battle cry and a dinner invitation.

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Tip 6: Learn Basic Norse

Learn basic phrases like 'Velkomin!' (Goodbye!) and 'Hvaðiðaðaðuð!' (Where's the bathroom?). It'll make all the difference when asking for directions or making polite small talk.

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