Time-Traveling Toast

Warning: Do not try this at home. Or in a time-traveling toaster. Or anywhere near a functioning time machine.

For centuries, humans have been trying to perfect the art of toasting bread. But have you ever stopped to think about the true cost of our toasting endeavors? The countless lives ruined by burnt toast, the families torn apart by cold toast, the civilizations brought to its knees by undercooked bread?

At Eternal Toasting, we're here to help. Using our patented time-traveling technology, we're able to toast bread with unparalleled precision and speed. Want to try the perfect slice? Click below for our methods.

Methods

• Quantum Toaster : Harnessing the power of superposition to achieve perfect browning.
• Chrono-Toaster : Using time dilation to cook your toast to the perfect shade.
• Toasty Paradox : Toasting a slice of bread, only to find it's been toasted before it's been toasted.