Advanced Tricks

Unleash Your Inner Genius

Put it off until it's too late, then pretend you meant to do it yesterday.

function procrastinate() { return "I meant to do it yesterday"; }

Use this trick to avoid deadlines, meetings, and human interaction.

But don't say we didn't warn you.

Blame it on the intern, the cat, or the vending machine. They're usually the culprits.

function misdirection() { return "The intern ate it"; }

Bureaucratic red tape is your friend, especially when you're stuck on a project.

function redTape() { return "Just fill out this 20-page form in triplicate"; }