What You're Going to Need to Know About Your Toaster

Q: What happens if my toaster catches on fire?

A: Don't. Just... Don't. That's not a question.

Q: How do I replace the heating element?

A: You don't. That's what the toaster's warranty is for. (Just kidding. It's not for that.)

Q: Will my toaster still work after I use it to make 47 slices of toast in a row?

A: Only if you've purchased the "Toasty's Toaster Warranty Plus" package. Otherwise, you might need to use a firehose.

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