TOASTERGATE: A Scandal of Epic Proportions

Breaking news: The Toastergate scandal has reached a boiling point as allegations of burnt toast have been levied against our beloved toaster, Johnson.

Johnson, a stalwart appliance of 5 years service, has been accused of consistently producing charred and blackened offerings. Witnesses claim that on multiple occasions, Johnson has turned out toast that resembles more of a carbonized brick than a crispy slice of bread.

As the investigation continues, many are calling for Johnson's removal from service, citing the toaster's "irreparable damage" to the community's breakfasts.

Johnson's Side of the Story: A Response to the Allegations

Burnt and Blackened: A Gallery of Johnson's Most Notorious Outputs