TOASTER GATE: Option 1 - Repair Protocol 9000

Step 1: Remove all hope

First, take all hope from the toaster. This includes any hope you have for a functioning toaster, hope for a functioning relationship, or hope for a functioning anything. We're talking existential hope. Remove it all. It's a necessary first step.

Next, take a deep breath, and stare into the abyss of despair that is your non-functioning toaster.

Next Steps:

Depending on your decision, you'll be directed to either Step 2: Buy a new toaster or Step 3: Attempt manual repairs.