Q: My toaster is broken.
A: It's not our problem.
Q: How do I make toast?
A: You should know this already.
Q: Can I return my toaster for a refund?
A: No.
Q: Can I have a replacement toaster?
A: Only if you can prove it's not your fault.
Q: I just want to talk to someone.
A: We're not here to chat.