Breaking: The Toastergate scandal has finally reached the shores of the UK, where the nation's most esteemed citizens are outraged, bemused, and utterly bewildered.
Apparently, some toasters in the UK have developed a taste for... well, we're not quite sure what they've developed a taste for, but it's certainly not for toast.
The UK's top brass have convened an emergency meeting to address the crisis, with Prime Minister Theresa May declaring, "This is a dark day for the nation. A day of burnt offerings, of bread that's been left out too long, and of toasters that have gone rogue."
Meanwhile, in related news, the UK's top chefs are calling for a ban on all toasters, citing "food safety concerns." We, on the other hand, are calling for a ban on all sensible government officials, who seem to be as useless as a toaster that won't pop.
Stay tuned for updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, try to enjoy your toast without the toaster.