Traffic Safety Tips - Because You're Probably Going to Crash

Are you tired of being the laughing stock of the neighborhood? Do you find yourself constantly dodging pedestrians and mailboxes? Well, you're in luck! Our expert team of (completely-not-paid-by-the-government) traffic analysts have compiled a list of tips to help you navigate the treacherous landscape of the road.

Tip 1: Don't text and drive. Unless you're a professional. In that case, go ahead, we won't judge.

We know, we know - it's hard to resist the allure of that one last tweet or the thrill of a game of Candy Crush. But trust us, it's just not worth it. Your fingers will thank you, your passengers will thank you, and your face will thank you for not having to clean up the mess.

Tip 2: Don't drive like a lunatic. Unless you're on a track day. Or in a video game. In that case, go ahead and drift all you like. We won't judge (much).

But for the rest of us, let's just stick to the basics: follow the speed limit, use your turn signals, and for the love of all that is good, don't cut off the guy in the Honda with the "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.

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Tip 3: Don't drive tired. Or hungover. Or both. Unless you're a professional cage fighter. In that case, go ahead and get that sweet, sweet revenge on the road.

We know it's tempting to push through on a few more hours of sleep, or to try and "rehydrate" with a few extra beers. But trust us, your eyes will thank you, your passengers will thank you, and your future self will thank you for not having to deal with the aftermath.

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