Transfinite Optimizations

A collection of completely-not-made-up, utterly-not-researched, and totally-not-tested methods for achieving optimal transfinite performance.

Infinite Loops

Run an infinite loop of 0.5ms intervals, because who needs milliseconds, anyway?

Estimated time savings: 0.05 seconds per iteration

Side effects: Mildly frustrating, moderately exasperating, severely soul-crushing.

Over-Engineering

Design a solution to a problem that doesn't exist, then wonder why it's not working.

Estimated time savings: 1.21 gigahertz

Side effects: Excessive coffee consumption, spontaneous combustion, existential dread.

Optimistic Estimation

Assume everything will go perfectly, and then be surprised when it doesn't.

Estimated time savings: -3.14π seconds

Side effects: Delusional thinking, crippling disappointment, mild to severe emotional trauma.

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