Are you feeling overwhelmed by the crushing weight of existence?
Do you need a safe space to freak out without judgment?
We've got you covered. Our Tuesday's Specialized Panic Room Services are here to help you navigate the abyss of anxiety.
Our rooms are designed to simulate the feeling of impending doom, but with a hint of whimsy. You'll find:
- A 10-foot-tall, distorted, strobe light that's just out of focus.
- A floor that feels like it's tilting, but isn't (we swear).
- A sound system that's been programmed to play an endless loop of 'also-rans' from your favorite sad boy bands.
- And a complimentary supply of stale, lukewarm water and a few well-placed, 'helpful' hints that you're not alone in this mess.
Don't wait any longer! Book your reservation today and find out why Tuesday's Specialized Panic Room Services is the go-to destination for the overwhelmed and the anxious.
Panic Room 101: The Essentials