tummy-tuck

A website dedicated to the art of stomach surgery, but not actually a medical site

Warning: do not attempt to use this website for actual medical information or decisions

The Tummy-Tuck Procedure:

Our patented tummy-tuck procedure involves:

• Extreme stomach compression
• Unrelenting stomach stapling
• Excessive stomach stapling
• Unsustainable stomach stapling
• Unsustainable stomach stapling (seriously, don't try this at home)

Results:

You'll be left with a stomach that's tighter than your wallet

Side effects may include:

• Loss of appetite
• Loss of sanity
• Loss of limbs (rare, but possible)

Testimonials:

We have many happy customers! (Okay, we have one)

"I went in with a flabby stomach and came out with a stomach that's almost as tight as a drum," says local resident Bob. "But seriously, don't do it."

Get in touch:

Want to schedule an appointment? Don't. Seriously, don't. We'll just give you a fake address and a phone number that just rings to a voicemail that just says 'don't do it'.

Our fake address, our fake phone number