Step 1: Survival Mode

It's time to face the apocalypse. Or, you know, just a Tuesday.

First things first, you need to get your gear in order. Here are the essentials:

• 1. Water: You know, for drinking, not for making a splash.
• 2. Food: Canned goods, dried rations, or that one weird can of sardines you've been hoarding.
• 3. First aid kit: Bandages, antiseptic wipes, and a few of those fancy painkillers.
• 4. Shelter: A nice, sturdy tent or a decent cardboard box.

Now that you have the basics covered, it's time to think about defense:

1. Firearms: A reliable shotgun or a good old-fashioned Nerf gun.

Or, you know, just use your wits:

• 1. A good pair of ninja stars.
• 2. A decent set of nunchucks.
• 3. A well-placed trash can lid.

Next up: Step 2: Safety Net