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Because who needs to read when you can see what's going on?
Only geniuses use font sizes above 24px. The rest of us are just peasants who can't handle the truth.
Learn more about Rule 1Don't bother making it clear, just make it loud. Who needs subtlety when you can BLING!
Read about the bold and the beautifulWhy just have a background when you can have a shadow that says "I'm a sophisticated typographer"?
Learn the art of creating drop shadows that blindWhy bother with a color scheme when you can just use black and white? That way you'll never have to make a choice
Read about the art of monotony