Umbrella Maintenance: The Unofficial Guide to Not Getting Wet

Basic Principles

Understand that umbrellas come in different shapes and sizes, each with its own unique quirks and flaws.

• Don't try to use a giant umbrella in a hurricane. Trust us, it's not worth it.
• Don't use an umbrella as a makeshift sword. It's just not a good idea.
• Don't use an umbrella as a plant holder. It's a great idea, but only on Sundays.

Now that we've got the basics covered, let's move on to more advanced techniques.

Advanced Principles

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try out some experimental techniques:

Experimental Techniques