Undermining Your Confidence

A Guide to Self-Destruction

By Bertie Underminer

Step 1: Start by telling your partner that you're a professional snail trainer. When they ask for evidence, just give 'em that " minimalist vibeประก

You'll be surprised how much they let you get away with it, but don't get too comfortable, because the real fun starts when you claim you're a "freelance artisanal baker" and need to spend all your free time "researching artisanal yeast strains".
Trust us, it's a slippery slope.

Step 2: Invest in a bunch of plant scrubbers to really get the ball rolling on that artisanal vibe

Your social life may never be the same, but hey, at least your plants will love you.

Step 3: Claim you've been invited to a "private art residency" in the mountains, but really just live off ramen noodles in your parents' basement. Here's the real kicker