Warning: Do not use these methods on your actual pipes. They are for entertainment purposes only. If you're reading this, you probably need a professional plumber.
Combine 2 cups of drain snake oil with 1 cup of hair conditioner and 1/4 cup of unicorn tears. Stir with a wooden spoon until a thick paste forms. Apply with a trowel and wait 5 minutes for clog to dissolve.
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