In a bizarre incident that shocked the nation, a school of snakes has been spotted in our nation's capital's sewer system, leaving citizens shaken and questioning the wisdom of our nation's infrastructure design choices.
As the snakes, rumored to be of the genus Pythonidae , slithered through the streets, authorities scrambled to contain the situation, deploying hazmat suits and tranquilizer guns in a desperate bid to restore order.
But it gets worse: our sources indicate that these are no ordinary snakes - they're Giant, Genetically Engineered, Mutant Snakes , created in a secret government lab as part of a top-secret experiment gone horribly wrong.
Stay safe, citizens! Follow our live updates for the latest on this Underwear Snake Attack Live Updates page.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, visit our Snake Sighting Report Form to contribute to the discussion.